Marriage Preparation Guidelines

The parish family of Immaculate Conception Church offers to support and guide you as you prepare for your wedding. There are many things to be done, so we ask you to read this pamphlet and bring it with you to your first meeting with the priest.

Your spiritual development as a couple is the most important aspect of your marriage preparation. As you enter the church and come before the altar, you are recounting the steps which many others have taken. These steps represent a new identity which will be centered on a relationship built on faith in God and faith in each other.

Marriage is a sacrament which lasts until death. We are here to help you prepare for this profound experience of God’s love that will be showered upon you on your wedding day and every day of your married life.

The sacraments are essential to the life of the church. Therefore, adequate marriage preparation is necessary to the reception of the sacrament of matrimony.

In the weeks and months ahead as you plan for the reception of the sacrament of Matrimony we suggest that you spend some time each day:

• In prayer

• Reading the Sacred Scripture

• Spiritual reading

• Corporal works of mercy; Spiritual works of mercy.

In this way your life of faith will come alive and be realized by those around you.

Pray often in the days ahead, both alone and together so that the Holy Spirit may be upon your endeavors.

Sacramental Preparation

We recommend that you make frequent use of the sacrament of penance particularly prior to your Wedding. This sacrament affords you the opportunity to experience the forgiveness of the Lord and the strength to resist temptation.

We also recommend that you attend daily Mass from time to time so that you may be strengthened by the Eucharist. By making Jesus number one in your life, you will be truly preparing for the sacrament of marriage. Finally, all couples preparing to be married should attend Mass each Sunday. Your presence is important not only for one another, but also for this parish community. It also makes your Church ceremony more credible.

Persons not baptized in Immaculate Conception Church must contact the church of their baptism to receive a copy of their Baptismal Certificate. This copy is not returned.

Because marriage in the Catholic Church is a sacrament, either the best man or the maid of honor, preferably both, should be practicing Catholics.

The marriage license is obtained from the town of the bride. One witness will also be needed (over 18 years) when you apply for the license. The witness must know both the bride and the groom.

The civil license, church and music fees should be brought to the rehearsal.

The couple will meet with the priest:

1. Initial information meeting / Pre-Marital Inventory

2. Pre-Cana

3. Follow-Up Session

4. Rehearsal

Archdiocesan policy requires each couple to attend either a Pre-Cana or Engaged Encounter. Plans to attend either one should be made well in advance. ICC now offers Pre-Cana on the first and second Saturdays in March and November. Please call Gary & Jean Jeffas at 864-1213 to make arrangements.

Rehearsals can be scheduled at a mutually agreed upon date and time. The rehearsal will last about one hour. Confession is always offered at the rehearsal.

Arrangements for music are to be made with the Director of Music, Janue Vargas (201)587-0130. A thorough and complete planning session will take place between the Music Director and the bride and groom. The couple will select music which reflects the dignified worship of God. Secular music is not appropriate.

Floral decorations should include no more than four baskets which can be placed in front of the main altar and each of the two side altars. It is customary to leave flowers for the decoration of the church during the weekend. No form of tape or adhesive may be used to secure decorations to church furnishings, please advise your florist. Also, no tape should be used to affix the runner to the floor.

During the Christmas and Easter seasons the church sanctuary is already decorated with floral pieces. To purchase extra is not necessary. Also, please consult with the parish as to whether or not there are weddings before yours on the same day. This will ensure for tasteful decoration and save you some money.

In choosing photographers and videographers please know that they must not distract those who attend the ceremony, or the bride and groom.

We do not allow pictures or videos to be taken from within the sanctuary. This is to ensure both reverence for God and the prevention of unnecessary distractions.

The throwing of rice at the end of the ceremony is prohibited. Rice is the primary food source of our brothers and sisters in the third world. We believe that to waste this food is not consistent with our option for the poor. We suggest using bird seed. Please inform your guests of this policy. Also, we do not allow the flower girls to drop flower petals down the aisle.

It is important that the wedding party select attire which is consistent with virtue of modesty and appropriate to the dignity of Christian worship.

Finally, we ask that if you will be living in Secaucus after your marriage that you notify the parish of your new address. If you are moving we encourage you to register at the local parish in your new neighborhood. Your faith life must be continually nurtured in an environment conducive to spiritual growth.